


One Exception

by Fluffifullness



Series: Mutual Healing [2]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fever, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-24
Updated: 2012-11-24
Packaged: 2017-11-19 10:42:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/572395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fluffifullness/pseuds/Fluffifullness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Izaya begins to harbor doubts about the person he is and the life he leads when - not many hours after returning to his apartment together - he wakes up to a very sick Heiwajima Shizuo. It's the chance that the blonde has(n't) been waiting for to help his new-found lover, and with just that much more strife, the couple somehow continues to patch up old and new wounds.</p><p>(sequel to 'Shoulder to Cry On,' rating for last chapter)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was three in the morning when Orihara Izaya was rudely awakened by the dull thump of something very heavy hitting the carpet just outside his room.

As he gradually overcame his sleep-induced mental fog and flicked on a lamp beside his bed, the informant grasped the possibility that the sound was not simply a figment of his imagination but the doing of none other than Heiwajima Shizuo - who, he presently remembered, was now staying with him in his apartment.

Still dazed after only a few hours of sleep, though, Izaya could only stare unwaveringly at the ceiling for a while before finally hauling himself to his feet and yanking the door open to reveal the sable hallway beyond.

The informant blinked several times in the murky darkness of the space that extended from the door of his dimly-lit bedroom, and he was soon able to discern Shizuo’s limp body sprawled at his feet.

The man was breathing hard and sweating profusely. He seemed not to have noticed Izaya, and he remained unresponsive even as the shorter man knelt beside him and awkwardly dragged him into a sitting position.

After a moment, recognition dawned on the blonde’s face. His eyes, which were clouded with pain, struggled to bring the informant’s face into focus. Wincing at what Izaya imagined must be a severely sore throat, the man barely managed a breathless apology for waking the informant.

“Honestly, Shizu-chan… Some people actually need to sleep sometimes,” Izaya teased in response as he brought a hand up to feel the blonde’s forehead.

He pulled back as quickly as if something had bitten him. “What the- Shizu-chan, you’re burning up!”

The other man sighed and shook his head slowly, eyes glazed. “Is it that bad? I’ve never even had a cold before…” It was clear by the sound and pronunciation of these few words that the blonde was struggling to form them in such a way as to limit the pain of speaking.

Izaya regarded the blonde incredulously. “Even if that’s true, did it ever occur to you to say anything if you weren’t feeling well?”

“It’s no big deal, flea. Give me a day or two, and I’ll be…” Shizuo’s eyes closed suddenly, and he winced.

Izaya shook his head in another expression of disbelief. “Looks like you’re both a monster and an incurable idiot, Shizu-chan.” He stood to leave. “I’ll go call Shinra, as I doubt any other doctors would be able or willing to see to you at this hour.”

Shizuo made no attempt to stop the informant or to call him back to his side. Even as he was feeling irrationally irked by this, Izaya found his cell phone where he had let it drop on the dining room table a few hours prior and quickly dialed the familiar number.

When, after several rings, Shinra finally picked up, Izaya got right to the point.

“Ah, Shinra? Sorry, but could you come over real quick? I’ve got a patient for you.”

_“Hah? A patient? At… what, after three a.m.? Izaya, what the heck are you –”_

“Would you be more eager to come if I told you that that patient is none other than Shizu-chan himself?” Izaya smirked to himself as he waited for Shinra to process this revelation.

 _“Shizuo-kun!? What happened? Is he injured?”_ There was a brief pause as the doctor considered the possibilities. _“Don’t tell me you two were fighting again?!”_

“Of course not! The two of us have been getting on exceptionally well, _if you know what I mean._ So, just bring some medicine or something and get over here, okay~?” And the informant hung up before his friend could argue or question him any further.

 

Even after the call had ended, Izaya intentionally avoided returning to Shizuo’s side. Instead, he distracted himself by browsing the internet for possible answers to the bewildering quandary that was a sick Shizuo. When that failed to give him any further satisfaction, the informant took to searching the house for anything that might prove useful in dealing with his companion’s illness.

He was still wandering distractedly from room to room when he heard Shinra’s knock and went to let the doctor, who was looking understandably disheveled, in.

Although Shinra did not give off a particularly unfriendly aura and in fact had little to say as he obligingly allowed Izaya to lead him to Shizuo, the informant couldn’t help but notice that his friend was regarding him with a certain measure of suspicion.

As the two rounded a corner, Shinra was immediately able to make out Shizuo’s slumped silhouette by the dim illumination which filtered through the bedroom’s open doorway. The doctor stopped abruptly and gestured to the raven-haired man next to him to do the same.

The informant paused accordingly, his expression one of unguarded curiosity and surprise. When Shinra spoke to him, it was with a hushed tone of mollification. “Would you mind waiting in the other room? It’ll be easier for me to focus on helping Shizuo-kun if I don’t have to worry about you riling him up.”

“Shinra…” Izaya couldn’t help but feel a bit hurt by the doctor’s sudden change in attitude, but he smiled anyway and forced a cheerful response. “No need for concern, then. Shizu-chan came here of his own free will, and Ikebukuro’s public property was none the worse off for it.”

Shinra’s tone shifted from one meant to placate to one that was starting to convey his increasing irritation. “I’m sure you can understand why I have a hard time accepting that, right? He’s been through way too much lately. There’s no guarantee from my perspective that you aren’t just taking advantage of that to cure your own boredom or to satisfy whatever desires you might claim to have.” Seeing Izaya’s hurt expression, he sighed. “These are only my doubts as a doctor and as a friend to both of you, Izaya. Celty thinks I’m being ridiculous, too. For the time being, though, please just let me talk to him a bit before you join us.”

To Shinra’s great relief, the informant at last complied with only a few muttered objections. Left alone with a barely-conscious Shizuo, the doctor set to work assessing the damage.

“Shizuo-kun. Oi, Shizuo-kun…” He shook the blonde gently and breathed a sigh of relief when his eyes fluttered open a bit. “Hey… How are you feeling? Can you stand up?” When he received no further signs of having been heard, Shinra tried again. “Can you tell me where it hurts?” And still he received no response.

Gritting his teeth in his anxiety, Shinra pulled Shizuo’s arm around his shoulders and stood up slowly. As he fairly dragged the blonde into Izaya’s recently-abandoned room, the doctor was struck by how hot his skin was to the touch. Not a good sign. He cursed quietly to himself.

Having helped the blonde out of his sweat-drenched shirt and onto the unmade bed, Shinra flicked on the lamp that was sitting on a table beside the bed and set to work.

Having progressed through a variety of small examinations, he was just getting ready to check Shizuo’s pulse when the man gave a little start and turned his head in the doctor’s direction.

“Shinra… what are you doing here?” He swallowed painfully and opened his mouth to continue, but he was promptly cut off.

“Never mind me, Shizuo… What happened to you? Why are you with Izaya? I know it probably hurts to talk, but please bear with it – just for a little while, okay?” Shinra realized that he sounded foolish, babbling like this to an invalid. As a doctor, he knew that carrying on a pointless conversation like this was hardly in his patient’s best interests, but he wouldn’t rest easy until he could assess Shizuo’s feelings on the matter at hand.

Shizuo, perhaps oblivious to the desperation in the brunette’s voice, smiled faintly and rasped, “I don’t know… I didn’t have anywhere to go, and he was insistent… to say the least.”

“I thought you two hated each other. Isn’t that why Izaya called me here and left you alone? I don’t mean to be insensitive or anything like that, but that _is_ what he did, right?” Because the sight of Shizuo lying there on the floor had said it all; whatever Izaya had done to help had been little more than the bare minimum of calling a doctor for help. This, more than anything else, was probably what upset Shinra the most.

Anyone who would just leave a sick man to lie like that couldn’t have particularly sincere feelings for him, right?

Shizuo sighed, his face expressionless. “Yeah, I guess so…” When Shinra continued to look at him quizzically, he elaborated. “I mean, we didn’t fight all that seriously. No property damage.” He grinned a little at that. “Some really unexpected stuff happened, and I wound up following him here when he asked.”  He stopped again, swallowed painfully, and mumbled, “But, in spite of all his pretty words back then, he didn’t do much…” Preferring not to try to finish his sentence in a dignified manner, Shizuo let it trail off into silence.

“Shizuo-kun… does that actually bother you?”

Having thus spoken, the doctor was surprised when Shizuo protested loudly, “H-hell no! I’m just pissed off at that flea! He practically begs me to stay with him, but when he sees me like this, he just up and runs away.” He rolled over so that his face was hidden from the doctor and gritted his teeth. It seemed that he was hurting everywhere, and the automatic rush of adrenaline that seemed to accompany every hint of anger definitely wasn’t helping.

Shinra regarded his friend with quiet wonder for a moment before smiling and tapping him on the shoulder. “Okay, then. I’m sure Izaya won’t mind coming by my place later to pick up some medicine for you. I’ll fill him in on the details, so it’ll be his responsibility to help get you healthy again.”

As he stood to leave, Shinra turned once more to his friend, who was watching him now with increasing exhaustion. “For now, just focus on getting better, okay? And, when you can move again, promise me that you’ll just do what you think is best for you. Stick to whatever makes you happiest.”


	2. Chapter 2

When Shinra finally emerged from Shizuo’s bedroom and made his way past the hallway, he was greeted by the sight of a very agitated Izaya pacing back and forth by the front door. The scene was almost comical when one considered the cause of the informant’s concern, and that did not go unnoticed or unappreciated by Shinra, who laughed lightly to himself.

Izaya, startled by the sudden noise, turned on the doctor and rather forcefully demanded, “Is he okay?!” He hesitated very briefly before adding, “Did he say anything?”

Shinra sighed, still smiling, and placed a hand reassuringly on the informant’s shoulder. “Take good care of him.  Even you must be able to tell how badly he needs it.” The doctor was relaxed, confident now that Izaya would somehow handle it. “Don’t you two do anything that I wouldn’t, ‘kay?”

Izaya shrugged away from the brunette’s touch as he tried his hardest to look more annoyed than relieved. Shinra was a bit touched by the fact that his friend honestly felt the need to attain his approval regarding this sort of issue. “So? When will he get over it?”

The doctor looked a touch more serious as he responded, “The fever? It’s a bit hard to tell right now. It shouldn’t take a doctor to guess that even Shizuo’s body couldn’t handle all the stress he’s been placing it under since the other day. He’s been totally out of it for nearly a month, after all. He must be exhausted, and his immune system must also be pretty well shot at this point.” Izaya remembered then how pale and drawn the blonde had looked when he’d approached him in the park. He must have been walking around all day…

“He actually collapsed right after he got out of bed, but he wouldn’t let Celty or me tell him to get some more rest… Ah - don’t worry too much, though. Shizuo’s still a lot more durable than your average human. This shouldn’t last more than a few days at most. Stop by my place a bit later for some medicine, and… Izaya?”

“Yeah?”

“I meant what I said. Take care of him. Right now, you might just be the best support he has. Everything from here on out depends on Shizuo himself, but it also depends on those around him. He won’t get better – physically or otherwise – unless you do your best to help. I believe Celty said something to that effect, as well?”

Izaya smirked in his usual smug manner, nodded his understanding, and wordlessly bade his old friend farewell as the door clicked shut and left the apartment quiet once again. He then stood motionless in the silence before Shizuo’s muffled coughing broke into his reverie. Alone again and lacking the confidence he had felt only moments before, the informant hesitated for a moment.

He finally gathered up some resolve, however; grabbing a towel and some hot water, he found Shizuo lying where Shinra had left him in his bedroom and sighed melodramatically.

“Oi, oi, that idiot didn’t have to give you my bed, did he? There’s a perfectly good guest room down the hall…” Izaya muttered as he entered the room. He noticed then that the blonde’s eyes were closed and decided not to await a response to his jab. Instead, he dampened his towel in the steaming water and placed it gently on Shizuo’s forehead, brushing away a few stray strands of blonde as he did so.

“Mmm…” Shizuo sighed, rolling onto his side and knocking the towel onto the floor. Izaya leaned forward to pick it up, but he stopped just before his fingers came into contact with it.

Because the whole scene felt so wrong.

“This really is… impossible. How am I supposed to do something like this…?” the informant whispered, voice wavering in near-despair as he sank to his knees.

He was surprised when Shizuo’s hoarse voice interrupted him.

“What, is it your turn to break down crying already? I never would have guessed you were so sensitive, flea.”

The words sounded pitiful coming from the sick man, but they were enough to elicit a strong response from the informant, who immediately retaliated with an ‘oh, please’ expression and, “As if, Shizu-chan. Just which one of us seems to be the most sensitive these days, anyway?”

The two glared rather fiercely at each other for several beats before Shizuo relaxed his guard and – remarkably – persisted with his questions.

“Really, though… What’s the deal with you, Izaya-kun?” Shizuo was watching the informant intently with his fever-bright eyes. Izaya derived some comfort from seeing the man so much more animated now than he had been when the informant had first encountered him collapsed on the carpet, but his question was still an unpleasant one.

So, in an attempt to cut the conversation short, Izaya shrugged and leaned in to steal a kiss. “Nothing you need to worry about, Shizu-chan.” He smiled as convincingly as he could.

Face flushed with fever and surprise, Shizuo grumbled, “That’s not fair, flea.”

“All’s fair in love and war, Shizu-chan, and if you don’t like it you can get the hell over that fever and force me to spill my guts to you.”

“I might just do that, you bastard.”

When Izaya offered no comeback to Shizuo’s threat, however, the blonde surprised the informant by lifting him easily from the floor and pulling him into a deep embrace beneath the covers. Izaya gasped and struggled weakly in the ex-bartender’s strong grip.

“I heard some of what Shinra said to you just now. It was a bit fuzzy, but… You know, I guess I can understand why someone like you is getting stressed out over all this.”

Izaya, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, stared up at Shizuo and found that he was at a loss for words.

“I mean,” Shizuo continued with a grin. “Everyone keeps telling you to take care of me, right? But you don’t even know how to do that, and you, of all people, start doubting yourself. Let me tell you one thing that’s certain, flea. You can doubt _yourself_ as much as you damn well please, but I won’t allow you to go doubting anything you said to me last night.”

_That’s not…_

Shizuo waited a moment before turning a little redder in the face and mumbling the rest of his improvised speech. “You… you can change if you want to, right? Or are you uncomfortable with the possibility that I’ve already started to change you?”

Izaya drew in a sharp breath of rage and bewilderment, shoved the blonde away with all the strength he had, and took off running. When he had safely made it to the guest room and slammed the door shut, he sank to the floor and huddled against the door, face hidden above his knees.

_That’s not right, Shizu-chan…That’s not it, because I…_

“…because I failed to do anything for you. I’m afraid. I can’t feel in the same way that a human might any more than I can understand the feelings I have for you,” he whispered under his breath as his shoulders started to shake with silent sobs.

And the informant felt salty tears trail down his cheeks for the first time in more than twenty years.


	3. Chapter 3

Shizuo sat in stunned silence amidst the rumpled sheets of Izaya’s bed, unaware of the tears that were then falling from the eyes of the informant in the nearby guest room.

While he hadn’t exactly aimed to live out a scene from some television drama in real life, Shizuo had hoped to at least talk to the flea in a civilized manner without having to deal with him running off in the middle of the conversation.  It was remarkable enough that Shizuo had managed to work up the nerve to say any of those things at all, let alone through this fucking awful pain in his throat. He didn’t think it would have been too much to ask for a little more consideration on Izaya’s part.

Wait. Wait just one goddam second. How had Shizuo ever wound up thinking like this in the first place? Why did he need to talk to Izaya like this now when there had never seemed to be anything but animosity between them to begin with?

When had something changed?

Before Shizuo could really began to ponder the sudden change in his feelings toward the flea, his stomach twisted inside him and he found himself scrambling out from beneath the covers and into an upright position.

Reaching the bathroom would have been impossible at this point, and there was no wastebasket in sight, but Shizuo nevertheless resisted the urge to throw up as long as he could. Doubled over with one hand clamped over his mouth, he gripped his stomach tightly with his other arm in a vain attempt to fend off the pain.

However, he soon collapsed forward to gag and retch onto the carpet below. When he was finally able to raise his head and wipe his mouth with the back of his hand, his eyes were stinging. His throat burned and ached more intensely than ever.

“Shizu-chan?” Izaya’s hesitant call barely caught the blonde’s attention as he sagged backward onto the mattress. Izaya at first considered pretending that he hadn’t seen anything and returning to the guest room to sleep, but the sight of Heiwajima Shizuo panting and sweating and hurting _alone_ was enough to convince him to make another attempt at playing nurse for the blonde.

In spite of everything he felt and couldn’t understand…

“F-flea. Hey, make up your mind already…” Shizuo breathed, his voice fading as he did into a state of semi-consciousness again.

Izaya moved quietly into the room. Sitting down on the bed beside Shizuo, his hands clenched around the sheets as he reluctantly came to a decision. “I’m sorry.”

“I’d like to… say you shouldn’t be…” Shizuo mumbled, his eyes unfocused as he turned his head to look at Izaya.

“About what you said earlier… I don’t want to change. I’ve been the same for as long as I can remember, and I’m perfectly satisfied with that. But, if staying the same would mean giving up on you, then-“

“You’re wrong.”

“Eh?”

“It’s not so much that I need you to change for me, flea. It’s that… that would be a natural result of loving someone as a person, right?” Shizuo avoided Izaya’s gaze as he pronounced the word. It made some kind of sense to use it despite the brief amount of time that had passed since the two had met in the park and Shizuo had taken one giant step toward becoming whole again.

Izaya shook his head. “Don’t count on that. I’ll always be the same, Shizu-chan.”

Shizuo watched the informant thoughtfully for a moment before answering. “You… Have you been crying?”

Izaya froze, and his hand went up to rub at the skin under his eyes before he could think to stop it. “N-no…”

Shizuo snorted. “Yeah, whatever.” He placed his hands on Izaya’s shoulders, and their gazes met. Shizuo’s was forceful as he demanded, “Come on, lay it on me. Everything.”

“Lay… what?”

Irritated, Shizuo prompted, “Tell me what else is bothering you, flea. I may have always hated you, but it’s not like I just met you yesterday. I can tell something’s off right now.”

Izaya struggled to come up with something to say that would end the conversation there, but Shizuo’s expression told him that whatever attempt the informant might make would be doomed to fail. Sure that the blonde’s determination stood in place of actual intelligence, Izaya decided to try skirting the issue.

“Has it occurred to you that _you_ might be the reason something’s off about me?”

“Don’t go repeating the same things I’ve already said, bastard.”

Dammit.

Shizuo’s scowl deepened, and Izaya sighed. Brushing his lips against the blonde’s as he found a comfortable position leaning into the ex-bartender, the informant gave in and applied himself to putting his thoughts into words.

“I can’t keep this up, Shizu-chan. If I do, and wind up thinking and feeling on the same level as any of the mass of humans that comprise this city, they might actually cease to be something that I can casually observe. Or I might come to see you as one of them – ordinary, unexceptional, a mere pawn.”

Izaya’s fingers traced the contours of Shizuo’s face as he continued to speak. He was the sort of person who normally knew exactly what he felt and thought, and his eloquence could be unrivaled. “I don’t want that. Because you’re the exception. If you were to be reduced to the level of a regular human, and if I couldn’t find happiness in toying with those humans any longer, my life might actually lose its meaning.”

Shizuo, who had stayed quiet through Izaya’s short speech, broke the ensuing silence with his rough laughter. “Izaya-kun, you idiot.” He placed a hand on Izaya’s head and ruffled his hair in the same way that an older brother might. “I’m still me, and you’re still you. People change, which in your case can only be for the better.” He grinned. “Leave it to Orihara Izaya to make a huge deal out of nothing.”

Izaya glared up at the ex-bartender. “Seems I can leave it to Shizu-chan to completely miss the point of anything I say.”

“No, no. I can understand where you’re coming from, but that doesn’t make it any less ridiculous. You know what Shinra told me before he left? He wants me to do what makes me happiest.” Izaya’s glare had turned to one of incredulity. Shizuo smiled, still very much amused. “Yeah, it seems kinda stupid, but I’ve already decided to take his advice. So, what about you? Are you too pathetic to even try?”

Izaya swallowed deliberately as he cast about within himself for the doubt that seemed to have vanished like nothing more than a cold winter breeze. How was this monster capable of doing this to him?

 When he spoke again, this strange new conviction sounded loudly in his voice. “I don’t _like_ any of this. It’s confusing and honestly a pain in the ass, but from now on, it would be nice if I could always have you by my side. I think, if anything, I might like the alternative less.” Because, suddenly and incredibly, this made sense. Few outsiders might think so, but this, for better or worse, must be right.

And damned if the whole thing wasn’t fucking _interesting_ , Izaya thought to himself.

Shizuo’s eyes widened a bit and his countenance instantly turned from one of absolute surety to another classic display of shyness. “B-bastard, I never said I-”But he was interrupted by Izaya, who placed one finger delicately on the blonde’s lips and leaned in to kiss his forehead.

“You will eventually, Shizu-chan. In exchange for my help with the emotional scars, the fever, and the whatever else you might be dealing with, you can show me what humans’ love feels like.”

And Shizuo, dizzy with lust and fever and new, unfamiliar emotions, reached out and took hold of Izaya’s nightshirt to jerk him into a rough, messy kiss. His body ached and burned all over and he really couldn’t handle this right now and maybe it would add another week to the time he would spend in bed, but he was beyond caring because all he felt was pure want and _need_ in this moment.

And, this time, Izaya did not stop him as the sound of tearing fabric and clothing falling loosely to the floor filled the room, mingling with the panting of both men.

Izaya took the initiative, pushing Shizuo back onto the bed and trailing his finger delicately across his chest and abs until he was tickling a sensitive spot at the base of Shizuo’s member.

Shizuo jerked, moaning appreciatively as Izaya leaned in to nip at the blonde’s exposed neck. His hand continued to explore Shizuo’s body - already slick with sweat and fiery hot to the touch, trembling and twitching and probably more sensitive than it would have been under "normal" circumstances.

“I wonder if I can get you to cry for me again…” Izaya murmured seductively, then, and - for all that it was awkward and strange coming from _him_ \- the blonde didn't mind.

Still, Shizuo did open his mouth to offer up a comeback. His voice failed him; instead, he placed his hands on Izaya’s hips and pulled him close so that their bodies met at all points.

The sudden rush of sensations overwhelmed even Izaya, who shivered and felt his cock throb and harden against the blonde. Not to be outdone, the informant struggled closer to Shizuo, pulling the blonde’s head close and nibbling at the edge of his ear.

A bit of awkward maneuvering, some stifled moans and hot pain and then he started to slide rhythmically back and forth, faster and faster until Shizuo was stiff and hard and bright-eyed under Izaya. The blonde’s back arched slightly and his breath caught again and again in his throat.

It was at that point that Izaya’s curiosity - a monster in itself, and never could one take it lightly - trumped even his body’s potent desires, and he paused briefly. He wanted to know how Shizuo would respond if it seemed that he might end it there. Because this unpredictable man was too much fun to toy with…

Izaya was not disappointed, for, to his surprise, the blonde did nothing but lay watching him, his eyes desperate and brimming with a thousand emotions. He was gasping and sweating and every muscle in his body seemed tensed with need, but he simply closed his eyes and wordlessly surrendered himself to Izaya.

And it was honestly unfair how goddam _sexy_ Shizuo was. His hair, golden under the lamp’s illumination, glistened with sweat, and a few strands stuck to his forehead. His lips were just slightly parted, and his expression had a strange softness about it that stood in stark contrast to the fearsome image he conveyed as he roamed the streets of Ikebukuro.

Izaya could hold himself back no longer, and as the pleasure reached its climax and they both lost themselves in the throes of orgasm, Izaya noticed a single tear sparkling in the orange light of the lamp as it traced its way down Shizuo’s cheek.

 

“I told you I’d make you cry, “ Izaya gloated moments later as the two lay panting on the damp bed.

Shizuo turned red but said nothing for a few moments as he silently reveled in the thought that he had been able to control of his strength. That it had been good, and that no one - almost no one, he hoped - was worse off for it.

Then -“Izaya-kun.”

“Mm?”

“Do you still feel the same way about humans?”

Izaya propped himself up on an elbow. “Yep. With one exception.”

“Oh? And what might that be?”

“You’re my favorite, Shizu-chan,” Izaya breathed as he cuddled closer to Shizuo’s warmth.


End file.
